Ninja Nerf

"Where'd he go? Where'd who go?"

Ninja Nerfers are out there man. Hell, they're everywhere. They're nearly invisible, but they're there. I didn't see three of them crossing the street earlier. Crazy.

You might be asking yourself. "Joe.(Or it could be Jane if your a chick. Ya right.) Joe. What are Ninja Nerfers?" And you would respond. "Well Joe, Ninja Nerfers are like regular Ninjas, but much more lame. The reason for their lameness is that instead of kicking ass with a over powered katana of whoop ass, they totally ruin all games by sucking all the fun out like a hoover vac. Not like a dirty New Orleans stripper trying to make rent. That would be way to much fun." As being as angry about this topic as I am, you would next scream with a smidge of hysteria. "They don't even have the decency to tell us the Nerf stick is being used. Bastards." You then begin to sob uncontrollably and drink a Pabst Blue ribbon. What, its the clans beer of choice.

So to summarize, AoC is nerfing the game constantly. That's fine. The fact that they refuse to comment on any of the changes and act as if we as players are to stupid to notice is frustrating to say the least.

Please stop ruining this game.

Later Kids,

The Trial and Tribulations of the AOC Launch

To set the scene - there are five of us in the room, all anxiously waiting for 10AM. The day had come, and the time had nearly arrived: the pre-release launch to Age of Conan. We were among the select few allowed early access to the game, days before the average schmo. Did we spend countless hours testing the game in its Alfa or Beta testing periods? I think not. We went to Best Buy.


I digress. We each sit at our computers talking with a plethora of friends on Ventrilo, each waiting for the allotted time of 10AM. It comes and then it passes. Bastards! What game launches flawlessly? None, not even World of WarCraft... not that I ever played. All lies. Okay maybe a little but it was against my will. Seriously.


Where was I? Ah yes, the time had passed and lets just say I was among a group of upset nerds. Kinda comical really, but I figure FunCom would get their shit together and get this party started, which they did in their own special way. They made us wait another three hours. Bastards!


Three hours come and go and again we're left in a room with five excited guys but also slightly lethargic from full bellies courtesy of our favorite fast food clown, McDonald's. Out of the blue, Zaldimar say, "Oh. My download started." (Zaldimar is not his real name just what he like to go by when playing these MMO's. Whatever.) To be jealous of someone because they are down loading a file is just silly, but Jesus how I hated him so much, with his smug "look at me attitude" and the way he always... Hell ya, screw that hippie 'cause my download just started, too. Screw you suckers who are gonna have to wait while mine is downloading. I am so much cooler than any of you lame... WTF "loading aborted." Bastards!


When all was said and done we got in and began the adventure that is AOC. It is a fun game that happened to have one hell of an interesting launch.


'Till next time when I discuss my first experiences in the game. Also, I have a few major gripes about the continuity between the movies and this game, and it involves camels.